Welcome to the Transformation Goddess: Divine Feminine Spotlight.
The intention of The Divine Feminine Spotlight series is to share transformational stories of women who have learned to walk in beauty, with the strength, courage, and pleasure of claiming their feminine sovereignty.
Today it’s my pleasure to introduce you to master teacher, Reba Linker.
Reba Linker is a master teacher, bestselling author and life coach, ready to lead you on the path of self-love to a happier and more fulfilling way of life. Reba believes that we each have the answers we seek within us. Her books include Imagine Self-Love, The Little Book of Manifesting Big, and Follow the Yarn.
Divine Feminine Spotlight conversations can be enjoyed by using the player below, or easily downloaded to your iPhone, Android phone or mp3 player via the Transformation Goddess Podcast at iTunes & Stitcher.
“I honor who I am, I accept my feelings, and I stand up for my desires.”
– Reba Linker
Carve out 30 minutes to listen to our intimate conversation to receive the full energetic connection of our transformational time together. I know you will enjoy Reba’s loving energy!
Please share a life-altering transition and transformation you’ve experienced.
I went from being insecure, depressed and defeated (behind a confident-ish façade) to the deep knowledge and assumption of my own power. What a difference a day makes! Or a few decades, actually! Luckily, despite childhood lessons that my feelings, thoughts, and needs did not matter, I held onto a glimmer of the light that is my essential being, and a distant memory of the pure innocence and beauty that I once felt. My ‘Significant Transformation’ has taken many years of rediscovering what was lost, reclaiming what was mine, and re-learning a whole new way of being that accepts and honors my feelings, thoughts, and needs.
I spent 30 years studying with a spiritual master, which I now see as the caterpillar and cocoon stage, absorbing knowledge, and processing information on a deep level; the unfolding picked up extreme velocity only recently, when I wrote my first book, Follow the Yarn. As I wrote, I started to speak my truth – in a knitting book, of all places! It took me that long to have the strength and the tools to face my experience without being crushed by it. I began the work of incorporating all that I knew intellectually into my life as a reality, and in the process, to realize what a gift I had to share with others.
How do you relate to your body, sexuality, and power?
I used to train as a professional dancer and taught dance for many years, so I feel blessed to have received a lot of joy from using my body to the fullest. When I stopped dancing it was interesting for me to experience life without so much strenuous exertion, and I was able to ‘coast’ a bit on the strength of my previous training. Plus, I wanted to have a child, and I wanted to dedicate my physical energy towards that goal. Now, as a mom of two young children I see the need for a new chapter ahead, of creating a way of caring for my body that is balanced, neither feast nor famine. This is a work in progress for me – to find living, self-loving balance – as it is for so many of us.
Self-love has become an important concept for me personally, and in my teaching as well, and a big part of self-love is self-acceptance. I try to honor my physical needs and desires as much as possible, whether that means taking a long soak in a tub, or buying a fun new necklace to adorn myself with. I no longer think of these things as petty, as I once did, but realize that they are needs that emanate from the soul, and I try to honor them as such. It is such an important part of self-love and self-care that we honor the ‘sacred temples’ of our bodies, both inside and out.
What are some of your favorite sacred feminine rituals?
My rituals have little to do with scented oils or candles though those are lovely! I have had to un-learn and re-learn my way of being in the world, so my ‘ritual’ is the continued practice of allowance and acceptance. This is the foundation of self-love, and it works in the face of whatever is happening. In particular, I accept my feelings and allow them to flow through me. Growing up, I was an Olympic-level champion suppressor of my emotions, so now I make time to meditate and to ‘listen in’ on what my body, emotions, and spirit tells me.
In short, I now love myself enough to make it a practice to be ‘for me.’ As the ancient sage, Hillel, said: “If I am not for me, who will be?” Every child instinctively knows this lesson, yet this is something that I had to re-learn as an adult after being taught that I was meant to be there for everyone but me. I know, first hand, the consequences of lack of self-love and I know the path back from that place, and that is a tremendous gift, for I can share what I know, and lead others out of sadness and doubt, and into the majesty of their own innate power and beauty. This, by the way, is one of the most miraculous transformations possible: to transform a harsh experience into a life-affirming gift. I want anyone who is suffering right now to know that there is so much love and light on the other side of their suffering as well.
One other ritual worth mentioning, which is so typically feminine that it doesn’t even feel like a ritual, is that I love to share openly and deeply with my female friends and with the beautiful soul sisters that I connect with through my work and activities online. Like many women, I experience this kind of open, heart-to-heart sharing as deeply healing, nurturing and energizing.
How else do you embody being a sovereign goddess?
I allow myself to be right. Now, for some people, maybe they should question themselves more (!), but for people like me who have been trained to second-guess themselves and to defer to others, allowing ourselves to be right is terrifically empowering. I honor who I am, I accept my feelings, and I stand up for my desires.
This is not always easy, especially when a desire may come into conflict with someone else’s needs or desires. In relationships, I used to always back down and defer to the other person. This only built up resentment and anger in me, which I did not know what to do with. Now, I honor my needs, even when it means a bit of a battle, er, I mean, negotiation! Most often, I see fantastic results, both in terms of satisfaction about the thing itself (whatever it is), and also in terms of achieving a healthy balance in my relationships.
This is a powerful self-love practice which may feel excruciatingly uncomfortable at first for people who have been trained to be self-critical, self-deprecating or, worse, self-condemning. There’s an exercise in my book where you pick an activity in which to be ONLY self-approving: for example, approve of your every move around making breakfast: make the omelet and praise it; if you drop the eggs on the floor, admire and appreciate what a spectacular job you did of dropping those eggs! No one could do that just like you! It sounds humorous, yet how profoundly wonderful to open up to loving everything about yourself, even the way you dropped the eggs! It’s a whole new way of being that will melt and soften some of those hard places that have lived for so long reacting to criticism and, yes, condemnation, and when you melt those hard, frozen places, you open yourself up to more joy and flow. And that’s what we are seeking, isn’t it?
What Comes up for You When You Hear the Phrase: Walk in Beauty?
Ease. Flow. Power and gentleness, combined.
I picture myself as a child on the beach, with long hair hanging down my back, gently caressing my skin. The phrase evokes such a feeling of pleasure and beauty, and a magical, natural connection with the divine that is beyond words.
What Inspired You to Create 9 Self-Love Keys to Change Your Life?
My journey has been about re-learning to love myself, and how to return to the joyous experience that is our true birthright, and that journey has brought me gifts I want to share with others.
In Imagine Self-Love, I invite the reader to practice self-love as they walk the path of the journal. More than any specific exercise in the book, the reader’s self-loving approach to the journal as a whole is, by far, the most powerful exercise of all. For when we begin to practice self-love in one area, it becomes easier, and eventually natural, to apply the same principles in other areas of our lives. This is how we overcome negative conditioning, which is what so many people struggle with.
This is even more powerfully available in my new e-course, 9 Self-Love Keys to Change Your Life, offered through the Daily OM, where the participant can access valuable recordings as well as an exclusive online forum in where they can interact with me directly. Often, we don’t even realize when we are being self-critical (it can feel so normal to us!) and it can help enormously to have an outside voice say “ease up on yourself, you just made a fantastic effort and that’s what counts!”
All my books – whether about manifesting, or self-love, or even knitting – are about giving you the knowledge to live your best life NOW, in this moment. It’s about releasing limiting beliefs that do not serve your happiness, finding the courage to be your authentic self, and learning the skills to help you move past obstacles to keep your life moving in a joyous and abundant flow.
Tell us about the free gifts you have for our sacred circle.
I am overflowing with abundance, and would like to offer your readers a triple gift!
First, everyone is invited to pick up a free chapter of Imagine Self-Love. This includes 5 journaling exercises and 5 powerful Action Steps that gently encourage you to look within to make sure you are really supporting your own best life. Pick up your free gift HERE.
The next gift is a HUGE one. My new course, “9 Self-Love Keys to Change Your Life,” is now available through the Daily OM. Though I cannot offer the course for FREE but it is available on a pay-what-you-wish basis starting at $10 – about $1 per module! It makes me intensely happy that everyone can easily and affordably dip their toes in the self-love waters and see why self-love is the new HOT TOPIC as we come to realize that our relationship with ourselves sets the tone for ALL od the relationships in our lives. I strongly encourage each person reading this to take advantage of this special offer at Daily Om.
Third, if you are embarking on a new phase in your career or personal life and would like help designing your next venture to be as successful as it can be, join me for free on-air coaching as part of the “Paint Yourself Into the Picture” TV show. Apply to be a guest HERE.
How can our readers and listeners contact you and learn more about your popular manifesting course?
Through my website, www.RebaLinker.com, or please write directly to Reba@RebaLinker.com.
You are also welcome to join my supportive Facebook group, Leaders in Self-Love.
I look forward to connecting with you!
Additional Articles and features featuring Reba’s great work.
Shann is currently booking Divine Feminine Spotlight Feature interviews for 2016.
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